Things Not to Say to a Cop when You’re Pulled Over

Back off Barney, I’ve got a piece.

Want to race to the station, Sparky?

On the way to the station, let’s get a twelve pack.

Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

I’m surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!

Hey, you must’ve been doing’ about 125 miles an hour to keep up with me! Good job!

Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.

You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to go to truck driving school instead.

"Bad Cop! No Donut!"

You’re NOT gonna check my trailer, are you?

Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on "COPS" last week on TV?

I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket.

So, uh, you "on the take" or what?

Gee, officer! That’s terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

Aren’t you one of the Village People?

If I was speeding, you probably were speeding to catch me, so how ’bout we forget the whole thing!

…Excuses Just for Lady Truckers

I’m sorry officer, I just got breast implants and wearing a seatbelt hurts.

I was speeding to get you to notice me so we could exchange numbers!