Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of the truck in front of him.

Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving.

Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The second policemen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.

"I’m sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."

Amazed, the driver asked "For what?"

The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."

Billy Bigrigger's Signs You've Been on the Road Too Long

You’ve made a meal out of Tastycakes, Herrs BBQ Potato Chips and Vernor’s Ginger Ale.

You pay more each month to wash your rig than some people pay in rent.

You drive 65 mph through 10 feet of snow in a raging blizzard without flinching.

You see a sign that says "Lane Ends 500 feet" and you manage to drive in that lane another half a mile.

This truck driver was considering buying a used rig. He said to the salesman, "This rig doesn’t look bad. How about the shocks?"

"You get those when you hear the price," replied the salesman.

"I think you turned back the mileage on this rig."

"What makes you say that?"

"It’s in Roman numerals."

"You were speeding," said the cop without pity
"So sorry to do this, Mr. Smitty
"But, there’s a party at the station.
"Here’s your invitation."
That’s how I met my first city kitty.

--Billy Bigrigger

Driving down a city street behind an 18-wheeler, a man noticed that at every stoplight, the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at several intersections in a row, the motorist’s curiosity overcame him and he followed the driver until he pulled into a parking lot.

When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The motorist went up to him and said, "I don’t mean to be nosey, but why do you keep banging on that door?"

To which the trucker replied, "Sorry, can’t talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10-ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times."

Seems a trucker was pulled over at a dock in the middle of nowhere when it began to rain. It rained and rained and it rained. Finally, the water started rising and it was rising fast.

Several guys from the dock yelled for the trucker to get out and walk while he could. Nope.

A kid came by with an extra skateboard under his arm and offered it to him. Nope.

A hunter roared up on his ATV and offered the trucker a ride. Nope.

A cute young blonde came by in her little sports car, and he turned her down too.

The water kept coming, both down from the sky and up, up past the steps . . . up past the bumper . . . up to the window of the truck. He still wouldn’t leave and go to higher ground.

Finally, he was standing in front of St. Peter, dripping wet. St. Peter was a little irritated. "You dumb trucker! Why didn’t you take one of those offers of help? You had your own two feet, a skateboard, an ATV and even a sports car, but you just sat in your truck and drowned. What was the matter with you?"

"Well," answered the driver with a shrug, "I was waiting for Dispatch to call me back."

After spotting a bear in the air
My better half shouted, "Take care!"
"You’d better not kick it
"Or we’ll be buying tickets
"To the Highway Patrol’s next affair!"

-- Billy Bigrigger